


Bubblegum and Cherries

by TonisSensational (orphan_account)



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: Cheryl Blossom Needs a Hug, Crack, F/F, Parody, Supportive Toni
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-10
Updated: 2018-10-10
Packaged: 2019-07-28 21:03:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16249757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/TonisSensational
Summary: A Choni parody





	Bubblegum and Cherries

Cheryl sobbed beautifully. Perfect crystalline teardrops left artistic, mascara tinged streaks down her face, yet somehow her eye makeup remained flawless. Probably no girl in human history had ever suffered as she was suffering. She knelt in the plush carpet of her bedroom before her chest of mementos. Her hands clutched a photo of Jason.

Toni heard her crying from the hall and hurried to her side, the picture of a dutiful, supportive girlfriend. She knelt a respectful distance away, as if leaving room for an observer to think they were just very good friends, though they were alone in the house.

"Oh no, Cheryl, what's wrong?"

Cheryl swept back the curtain of red hair that fallen into her face and straightened her spine. Her voice was filled with anguish.

"I just remembered to be upset that hideous witch, Betty Cooper, cruelly blackmailed me and forced me to testify to get FP released from prison. She threatened to post the video of Jason's murder online if I didn't testify."

"Oh my god." That sounded bizarre and unnecessary. She wondered why Betty even had that video. It almost sounded like a contrived plot point designed to be as shocking as possible despite not making much sense.

"Isn't that the most twisted, monstrous thing anyone has ever done in human history? An action that could only be taken by a soulless demon, devoid of conscience or humanity?"

"Absolutely, and I would know. One time I helped Jughead skin a woman. I still don't know why we did that." Toni scrunched up her nose as a thought struck her. "But, Cheryl, yesterday at the Serpents meeting you told everyone that you deserved to take leadership from Jughead because you singlehandedly saved our former king from wrongful imprisonment."

"Well, it's true! I've done more to help the Serpents than anyone. Making me queen is the least they could do to properly honor my efforts." 

"But you wouldn't have helped him if she hadn't blackmailed you." 

"Of course not! He dumped my beloved brother's body in the river like garbage. That inhuman creature should have fried in the electric chair."

Toni rocked back on her heels and tilted her head. "I don't get it. Why do you even want to be a Serpent?"

"They're the perfect loving family I've never had. Being a Serpent has been my lifelong dream for the last month, or however long ago it was I joined."

"But you hate FP. You hate Jughead and Betty. You're not from the Southside. You won't even get the tattoo."

"I will not mar my luminous alabaster skin with that hideous logo representing a group of homeless people," Cheryl interrupted. She shuddered in revulsion.

Weeks ago, Toni would have taken offense to a comment like that. That was before she realized Cheryl was in pain, and nothing she said or did was her fault. Instead, her eyes went soft, and she took Cheryl's hand gently. 

"You're mesmerizing," she said, for no apparent reason. "We're all so lucky to have you."

"I know," Cheryl snapped. "Why are you still here interrogating me, instead of bringing me Betty Cooper's head on a platter?"

"Why would I do that?" Toni shrugged one shoulder. "Everyone has baggage."

Cheryl's vermillion painted mouth dropped open.

"Look, if actions had consequences for white girls in this town, you'd be in jail for what you did to Josie," Toni explained. "It seems like you got over what Betty did to you just fine until now. Josie still doesn't have any friends, except for Kevin sometimes."

Toni had heard Josie crying in the bathroom at school once. She'd pretended not to hear and walked right past her. She wasn't allowed to talk to Josie. Besides, everyone knew Josie didn't matter. Only Cheryl mattered.

"Josie is my bestie, when I remember she exists, and I'm all the companionship anyone should ever need. She should be honored to even know me."

"See, that's the kind of red flag that should have stopped me from dating you, if I was still allowed to stand up for myself. But I'm not, so it didn't. Isn't that nice?"

Cheryl nodded eagerly.

"If you want to keep living a consequence free life, sometimes you'll have to let Betty get away with her sociopathic shit, too."

Cheryl huffed at the supreme unfairness of it all, then was distracted by a text on her phone. She gasped when she read it, then stood up with a start. Her picture of Jason fluttered softly to the carpet, completely forgotten.

"Oh my god. It's from Veronica. Cousin Betty is trapped in the Sisters of Quiet Mercy!"

Toni sighed. "Again? Maybe this wouldn't keep happening if someone reported that place and got it shut down."

"Stop talking nonsense. We have to go rescue her." Cheryl dashed to her closet and started picking out her sexiest rescue outfit.

"Why? You just wanted me to go beat her up."

Cheryl looked up from her selection of lace rompers. Her innocent doe eyes were wide with shock. 

"I would never wish harm upon my beloved cousin." 

This was caring Cheryl now, who treasured Betty and always put her well-being first. She took a hanger off the rack and examined the mostly sheer garment, then put it back and kept searching for something even more revealing.

Toni shook her head, trying to clear it. She felt dizzy. 

"Of course you wouldn't. I don't know what I was thinking." 

Thinking. That was the problem. She wasn't supposed to think, at least not for herself. She was supposed to be there for Cheryl.

The doorbell rang, and Toni left to answer it. Veronica stood outside, practically dressed for the occasion in 4-inch stilettos. Her raven hair was extra glossy and styled in bouncy waves, and her catsuit of course exposed copious cleavage. Toni let her in to wait for Cheryl to finish getting ready. She perched on a velvet armchair and crossed her legs.

"It's just a shame I'm going to have to miss the demolition," Veronica pouted.

Veronica had out-maneuvered her father to buy the remains of Sunnyside Trailer Park, and was now having it bulldozed to build a casino. Even though Toni's beloved grandfather and all of her friends lived in the trailer park and would now be homeless, Toni had no opinion about this and was still friendly with Veronica. Supporting Cheryl was a full time job that left her no time to care about her community.

"Oh! I just remembered." Veronica perked up. "While I'm here, I was hoping you and Cheryl would agree to perform at the ribbon cutting ceremony."

"Of course, Veronica. We'd never turn you down."

"Now, you can't tell anyone this, or you'll ruin the surprise." Veronica leaned forward conspiratorially, an excited gleam in her eyes. "I'm going to invite Josie to the party, and then we'll come out and call ourselves the All-New Pussycats."

"Why do that to her?" Toni asked, not out of any real concern.

Veronica shrugged. "Why do we do anything we do? But I bet this time we'll get Josie to cry."


End file.
